This is a place where I share my art and thoughts of the day!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Here's my latest wrapped canvas painting.

This piece is 24x48"'s and was made especially for the Granite  Pathways Clubhouse, which is a place in Manchester NH. where people with disabilities can go to search for work, find support and an environment of acceptance. I wanted it to be about perception to help people understand what it might be like to have a mental health challenge. I myself have been diagnosed with bipolar two and ADHD, as well as dyslexia, and PTSD, some depression and anxiety.

Although I like who I am and wouldn't want to be anyone else sometimes just being me has been difficult.

Like when I was in college one time I didn't drink or smoke drugs but I wanted to go to a party with other artists so I went alone to make friends. When I got there they were of coarse smoking pot and drinking. I didn't care I just wanted to hang out and be with like minded people. Then a song came on by "THE Doors". You know the one about people are strangers when you're a stranger. Well this guy who up until then I thought was very cute named "Mark" began to sing to song rather loudly right into my face.

I tried not to show any emotion but it was hard because he made me feel so embarrassed and out of place. Finally his girlfriend told him to leave me alone, and he stopped. I waited a few minutes and then I slunk away to my own dorm to my own room where I sat all night crying wondering what I had done wrong -what had I done to deserve to have that song sung loudly into my face? (Mark later flunked out and I graduated) Albeit still feeling very lonely and out of place.

When I got older I had worse depression and had to be hospitalized after several severe traumas. I never hallucinated but I met a gal in the hospital who had. She was such a nice person she had been a nurse her entire life and suddenly she herself became ill.

She had schizophrenia a most serious illness where the mind splits into it's own realm and one has no control over it like a bad trip. So I asked her what it was like.
 She told me she sometimes sees things she doesn't want to see/ scary things. I asked her like what and she said faces, faces everywhere.

So as I was making this painting/collage I decided since it is for the mental health clubhouse I would dedicate it to all those who have felt strange,left out, different from the rest of a crowd or alone in the world because of illness.  I want it to reach out though to both groups, the people who have never had these issues but wish to understand them and those who wish to be loved and understood in spite of how they suffer in or through this life.

If we only knew how other people felt we would be more kind, more gentle, and more creative in our approach to reach out to others.

No matter what their race or creed or color, no matter what their strengths or weaknesses.
 Some of the best artists, scientists,poets, song writers and dancers have had mental illness. Some of us like some of you are good mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, and we were children just like you. We need to belong, be loved and be utilized as productive members of our society.

If you give others a chance you might find some amazing friendships of loyalty and compassion you never knew you could have.

 Also remember this, the mind is fragile, today you may have strength and grace and tomorrow well you never know. If not for the Grace of God there go I.
 So if you have a mental illness remember you are important and have wonderful things to offer the world. If you don't have any illness remember where much is given much is expected, try to look outside your own greatness and into the hearts of others.

Titled "Faces In The Rain"
Asking sale price for this piece is $10,000.00.

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