This is a place where I share my art and thoughts of the day!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Where do we as artist's fit in in this world????

 Do you ever feel or have you ever felt ostracized or misunderstood and alone in the world as I sometimes have? I think figuring out who we are as artists is especially trying sometimes. When we have no one to back us and no help from family. Life can be trying when you know you still have to follow your calling, your passion, your gift and your bliss.
   Around the time I was about to turn 50 I began to see things I had not thought about before. Like how can I really make a positive difference in my world around me? Always asking myself where do I fit in and how do I become an active member of my culture my community, when it seemed many times I was not a member of this tribe, this race of people.
 I prayed a lot about this issue and really wanted things to change. I wanted things to change for me and in me and in the world around me too. Where to begin though was my question it all seemed so overwhelming at times. So many things had come together which seemed to be working against my desires and dreams.
  Like mental challenges and traumas and disabilities that were seemingly a curse to my life. I worked through many issues but there always seemed to be something stopping me. Not giving up though as my antidepressant was working and so so was I. I created feverishly everyday, and found joy in doing so. Than through many avenues and classes and reading the bible, making some new friends and getting some of what I consider Holy Spirit divine inspirations, at 50 things started coming together.
  Now if someone had told me when I was ten or twelve or even thirty that I only had to wait for my  hearts desires and eventually they would come true like at age fifty and beyond! Maybe I would have been frustrated, in disbelief or possibly even excited! People did tell me to wait on God, and not give up hope(easy for them to say). Having had my extreme bouts of depression and struggling with PTSD, ADHD, and even anxiety made it very difficult indeed.
  Then I took some classes online. I love my online support teams. Without you my friends and your undying encouragement not sure I would have kept plucking away? You were there though, thanks God for all of you, and your amazing inspirational art as well! For all the gifts you handmade and sent me on my birthdays or when my sons was having surgery and you sent him get well cards. Life became happier because I met all of you and you shared your very souls with me. In the groups I have belonged to and the sites I have owned I found so much fulfillment and creativity. Wishing many times I had come onto this source sooner but it's all in God's time!!!
     After all I was and still am raising a family and married for 25 years almost 26 years now. Recently my dog of 15 yrs had to be put to sleep and it was sad but we have a new puppy too and she's a pip! My dad had to go into the hospital last week and we wondered for  a few days if he would make it out, but he did and he's home now. My car had to go into the shop which cost me unexpected cash, so did my husbands car,and today I had to have a cavity under a filling filled with which they found an adjacent tooth also had a cavity of it's own which also had to be filled. Cha ching, but at least I get to keep those teeth for now! The week from hell!
  I tell you about this week because if all this had happened to me in the past I would have fallen apart spent my days crying wondering why? Not anymore though, I haven't cried at all which worries me a little but not really. I am so grateful for the joy I have everyday, I never say it enough but thank you God!
  I am finding my tribe, the people I know online who share creativity with me, the classes I have taken and the great teachers who teach them, the friends I have made through the classes. Oh and the Ugandan children whom, I love so much they too are a part of my tribe, and I a part of theirs. I sent my son Haslam art supplies last week when my friend Melissa went over to Uganda for mission work. I can't wait to see if he likes it all!
   I love teaching my home schooled children Grace and Noah art, they too are a part of my tribe now as is their beautiful mother. Even the children in the neighborhood and the college students I have worked on art with, in the past who grew from the experience and taught me much as well!!!!
   The mentally challenged whom I am teaching a layering technique to with the over and under painting are part of my tribe and will soon know I am a part of theirs if they don't already! All the folks
at the club house like Mike, Cameron,Sean, Reeny,Peter, my sweet friend Euretta,Kurt, Mary,Anna(whom I miss), ,Justine,Becca, Natalie, Bowe, Pam, Amanda, are all a part of my tribe.
   Some of my beautiful neighbors and their families too, just so kind and full of love they readily give to others, including my son which means so much to me.
  The people at Nami too especially Ellen who honors me by letting me be the one who makes paintings for their volunteer awards ceremony she's a part of my tribe as are all the people who help me at the VA. The ones who make an extra effort to tell me a joke, or smile, or listen to me chat about my art endeavours!
  Naturally my family members immediate and extended family are an integral part of my tribe, they support and encourage me weekly if not daily! My children , my mom, all of my family even my pets are a part of my tribe. I am not alone, I am a part of my culture, my community and the world. I make a difference and I serve my community, and I am so thankful to be a part of my tribe!
  Oh God, my prayer is that I can learn to serve my tribe even better each passing day that you Lord will utilize the gifts you have given to me in the best way you see fit. That I will not squander them or become to self absorbed not to see how others  need, and can use me to the continued glory of your kingdom! Keep my energy to a place where I will not grow weary or week. Help guide me God in the path you have chosen for my life so that I will not become prideful and try like I have in the past to do things on my own. Help me to remain humble to others, and to you so that I can be a vessel to win souls to eternity and not to my own worldly desires . May the tribe I belong to which is your tribe Father be blessed and more fruitful because I realize I am a part of it, and thank you so much for letting me know this ever more clearly each day! Amen!
    One of my past online teachers Flora Bowly  has a bit on her page about finding your tribe:
  I really love what she has to say and her influence on my own artwork!!! Flora is a member of my tribe too! Love you Flora!
Her class is well worth the taking if anyone is looking to learn and grow creatively in leaps and bounds!

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